This week dear mummy and daddy, this week, we will be talking about what happens in our home – it is sibling comparison. We plead with you; quit the sibling comparison. Some of you may deny ever doing that, but it does happen. If you decide to make general comparisons, that’s fine, but never compare siblings.
Let’s paint a graphic scenario.
“Dear daddy, Do you remember when you said I should look at Anita whom I am older than? Do you remember saying she is a better example as to how I should be performing academically? That was at the end of second term, two sessions ago. Yes daddy, I remember it so well. I remember because I was hurt by that comparison. She is my sister but I still hurt when I remember it. Daddy, did you forget that I write codes excellently well? Did you also forget that Anita has been struggling to learn coding for three sessions now? You just keep comparing us even when there is no need to. It really hurts me dad. I wish you can just encourage us to be our best without the comparison. We will be better off that way. I really wish…”
Dear parents, this is a plea to you all. Every child is unique in his own way and thus assimilate differently. Even twins can never be the same. Do you know that sibling comparison can lead to sibling rivalry? I bet you didn’t think of that. It is imperative that we understand that every child will develop in his own way and at his own pace. Some parents may say they do that to motivate the child. Truly, it brings the child down than motivating him. The child begins to feel less of himself and start acting that way.
Then, you begin to raise a child with low self esteem. How then can I make my child ‘sit up’ in some areas you may ask. Simply look for your child’s strengths and magnify it before him. Make him feel like the best in that area. Doing this, you feed the child’s morale. He becomes so proud of himself and wants to do more so he doesn’t let you down. After doing this for a while, you can choose to bring up the areas he is lagging behind. Discuss with him and find out what his difficulties are. Then together, proffer ways he can begin to do things differently for better results. Make him see reasons why doing such thing differently and better will make him a better person.
It is also worthy to note that children sometimes enjoy different things and thus pay special attention to those things they love. This is partly why you can find one doing better in certain areas than some. They should be encouraged in the areas they excel in. This is in no way saying they should neglect other areas and focus solely on their strengths. No knowledge is a waste so they can ne motivated to soar in other areas of whether their studies or life in general.
Dear parents, we feel that doing things this way will make us feel better and appreciated not comparing us to our siblings or anyone else for that matter. We sincerely hope you will consider and hearken to our plea. We are grateful in advance.
PUZZLE for the week
Unscramble the following words:
1. Ohem
2. Temese
3. Ghterstn
4. Ivmoteat
5. Ngblisi
