Being a parent is very demanding. A lot happens within the wall of a family. A mother can wake up in a mid-night to notice that her baby is running temperature, and that can create an unwholesome tension and pain in her heart. A father can wake up in the morning full of hope and aspiration, goes to work and returns with a ‘sack- letter’. Parents can go to their farms and on getting there, witness that cows or fire outbreak has consumed their farmland. A mother can receive a call from her children school authority requesting her to report immediately to the school and pick her daughter or son who has suddenly collapsed in the classroom. This can also be troubling. What about the pain of living in childlessness, the challenges of old age, the agony of waiting for a would-be husband or wife? Every family lives in a pendulum of trials. Sometimes the trials seem unending that one at times may be tempted to ask: O God, what I have done to you?’ From a sick child, lack of money, run-away wife or husband, to a delinquent child, broken heart, death of a loved one, frosty marital relationship, etc. All family trials are painful, but when lessons are learned, they make us stronger. Enduring the pain of discipline brings peace and joy later on.
Sometimes also parents create their own trouble- most times they do. Things that ordinarily a spouse can ignore can be given an undue attention that may escalate it and then enters’ the blame game’. Lack of humility by parents even while dealing with their children can make family matters worse. What humility that is: sweeping the floor, bearing injuries of verbal attack. cleaning the dining table, washing the family car or family keke or okada, washing plates, cooking, dressing the bed, keeping order and observing family schedule etc. 
Bearing injuries of verbal attacking seems to be the one most families struggle on. How we talk to each other oftentimes determines how the other person reacts. Reactions can be negligent, mild or corrosive depending the choice of the one and his mood of the moment. It is always a choice to decide how and when to react. Expert in family psychology often advise that husband and wife must endeavor to resolve marital conflicts with 48 hours to stop it from festering and secondly to leave doors of negotiation open between the offender and the offended instead of putting it under lock and key after conflicts.
Our soul has its version of exercise; they are called trials. You can count your own readily. When a family stays together during trials, especially with prayer, half of the problem is solved. Every challenge that a family faces has a purpose. First towards its redemption as a family and second towards fulfilling God’s will for that particular family. The purpose of God’s discipline is not to punish but to transform every family, especially families that have decided to follow Him closely within the vicissitudes of life. There are people in our lives who have problems but don’t need our often unsolicited sermon and advice. What they may need is a listening ear and a loving heart. We make mistakes whenever we think we can solve every of their problems when we get involved or get to know about their woes. We can only do that which is within our capacity, but must allow them to carry their own cross. Family trials are painful but necessary to strengthen our often sagging spiritual muscles. When we are in debt and feel the pain of creditors chasing us up and down, we learn to manage our finances better next time. When we lose a special someone because of our neediness and feel the pain of heartbreak, we learn to love ourselves and become wiser so that we can love in a healthy way next time. When we have been homeless once, for whatever reason, we learn how to provide and pay our house rent timely especially for the sake of the spouse and children.
When we try to dodge trials of life, by all means, we will surely meet others that may be very overwhelming, which may be easier had we been patience to pass through the first and gain experience through its lessons. And like Job we may begin to cry: For the thing which I greatly fear has come upon me.
During my final year in the tertiary, while preparing to graduate, I used to pray to God that He should not send me to serve in the northern states. I dreaded a state like Katsina. Why? Because there were always religious crises there and many people often got killed. Then the posting came out and my name was number one among those posted to serve in Katsina. I didn’t sleep that night. When it downed on me that it was a reality, I swallowed the pill and served in Katsina. That would be my first ever visit to any part of the northern Nigeria. After spending the mandatory one year in the city, I came to realize that God has a purpose in everything about our lives. Only Him has a full knowledge of the big picture and we need to key in. Most of the preliminaries I learnt about office work and how to use computer came from there. I learnt how to speak Hausa and fell in love with it, and corrected so much misinformation and prejudice about the state.
Whatever you or your family are going through right now, always bear in mind that it has a timeline and at fullness of time, it will come to pass like yesterday has done. Be still and know that He is God.
